If the sequel to Night at the Museum wanted to retain the level of accuracy seen with the original, it would have a Chinese actor playing Russian Czar Ivan IV (aka Ivan the Terrible). But while I'm sure there will still be historical errors abound in Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian, the honor of playing Ivan has gone instead to pale-enough actor/filmmaker Christopher Guest (Best in Show), according to the Hollywood Reporter. And since Guest is actually a far more serious man than you'd expect, despite all those silly mockumentaries he writes and directs, here's hoping he studies his Eisenstein for inspiration.

A bunch of other actors have also joined Ben Stiller in the fantasy film, including Jon Bernthal (World Trade Center) as Al Capone, Bill Hader (Superbad) as General Custer, Alain Chabat (The Science of Sleep) as Napoleon and the franchise's screenwriters, Robert Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon, as the Wright brothers. This makes for a very packed cast, considering most of the first movie's co-stars are apparently returning, including Robin Williams, Steve Coogan, Owen Wilson, Ricky Gervais, Dick Van Dyke, Jake Cherry and Patrick Gallagher, the guy who looked all wrong for the part of Atilla the Hun. Other newbies to the series include Amy Adams as Amelia Earhart and Hank Azaria as Egyptian pharaoh Kah Mun Rah.

The sequel is currently filming in Vancouver, which seems a bit far away from the actual Smithsonian Institute, but reportedly the production will have access to shoot a few scenes in the actual museum, which is located in Washington, D.C. Maybe it will actually look like it takes place there, too.

I'm all for teaser trailers that reveal very little, especially as an alternative to the Robert Zemeckis school of trailers meant, apparently, to replace the finished film. And while I'm deeply skeptical of Marley & Me, an adaptation of local Philly journalist John Grogan's sappy man-and-his-dog memoir, I love the teaser that Fox unveiled today on the official website for the Christmas release.

The reason I like it so much, I think, is that it played a trick on me. I heard the Chariots on Fire theme, saw the slow motion images, concluded that the labrador puppy and Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston's happy couple were triumphantly running toward one another, and kind of rolled my eyes. But then I thought, wait, that doesn't make sense -- they're clearly running in the same direction along the beach in the separate shots. Then it dawned on me; I watched the thing again, saw Aniston's concerned expression and the empty leash in Wilson's hand, and laughed out loud. Clever stuff.

The movie is directed by David Frankel (The Devil Wears Prada) and -- on the bright side -- written by Scott Frank (The Lookout, Minority Report). It's the first work Owen Wilson's done since recovering from last summer's horrifying suicide attempt.

No, silly, they didn't get married. Or did they? Kinda sorta maybe -- see, above you will find a photo of Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston from the set of Marley & Me. In the film, the two play a couple who embark on a series of challenges after a naughty and neurotic dog joins their family. Marley & Me is based on a book, and I know all about that book right now because my wife is reading it -- and crying, and laughing -- and saying, "OMG, this is sooooo us!" The photos come here via JustJared, and you can click on the image above or head over here to see the rest of the set. Not much -- just a group of shots showing Wilson and Aniston all dressed up and stuck in the snow. Marley & Me is currently shooting in Philadelphia and is scheduled to hit theaters on Christmas Day.

For me, The Greatest American Hero was maybe one of the best things about TV in the '80s. But, Hollywood can never leave well enough alone and last February the news first hit that a feature film version was in the works. Rumor had it that Owen Wilson was at the top of the list to don the man perm and 'red jammies,' but it was not to be. Moviehole has now confirmed that Wilson will not star in the update, but the film is still moving full steam ahead. According to sources, "They're casting it for now - they're open to an unknown" (which is switch from the original notice's call for 'big names').

Hero first premiered on ABC in 1981 and the story focused on a young teacher (William Katt) who has been given superhuman abilities thanks to an alien suit. Along with an FBI agent named Bill Maxwell (Robert Culp), the two kept busy for the next three seasons saving the world. According to Moviehole, the feature film will be making a departure from the original series, but it will still be a comedy at heart. The villains will still be your typical superhero baddies, but there will also be some other adversaries in the form of teachers at the school.

Stephen Herek is set to direct (Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure) the script from Chris Matheson and Ryan Rowe (Charlie's Angels). There is no definite timeline so far, but The Greatest American Hero should arrive in theaters sometime in 2009.

Drillbit Taylor, a comedy about three youths who hire a "bodyguard" to protect them from school bullies, may be produced by Judd Apatow (Knocked Up, The 40-Year-Old Virgin), but it doesn't really fit into the Apatow filmography of manic modern comedies. It feels like it belongs to a different continuum of film -- the lazy-yet-agreeable teen comedies of the '80s, where a simple hook gets festooned and garlanded with bits of business and digressions. That's not surprising, considering that one of the credited writers is that '80s comedy titan of teen John Hughes, shielded behind a pseudonym. It's not wholly retro -- the off-kilter, lazy charm of Owen Wilson in the lead role feels too modern for that -- but it also feels like a film we've seen many times before in form and flavor, and while it may not be consistently brilliant or laugh-out-loud funny all the way through, it is at the least consistently amusing.

Wade (Nate Hartley) and Ryan (Troy Gentile) are just entering high school; they're eager to move to the next phase of their lives. Wade is slight, bespectacled and intrinsically decent; Ryan is a beefy, big-boned boy, funny and outgoing. (Comparisons to Michael Cera and Jonah Hill in Superbad are not undeserved; Superbad co-writer Seth Rogen is credited here alongside Kristofor Brown, working from a story by John Hughes -- here credited as, in a shout-out to English majors nationwide, Edmond Dantes.) They're both looking forward to the opportunities for social re-invention their new environment offers: Ryan tells Wade "I don't want you to call me Ryan; call me T-Dog." But when minuscule, nervy, nerdy classmate Emmit (David Dorfman) is being shoved into a locker, Wade does the ethically right but tactically wrong thing of speaking up, and thereby places himself and Ryan on the radar of snake-eyed sociopathic school bully Filkins (Alex Frost) and his partner-in-thuggery Ronnie (Josh Peck).

The ability to sustain a sense of Seuss in a CGI scenario (I can't rhyme like the good doctor, but I can alliterate with the best of them) worked in the favor of Horton Hears a Who, last week's number one flick by a country mile, giving it the biggest opening weekend of 2008 so far. Like many of the folks taking part in our weekly box office competition (see the bottom of this post for details) I underestimated the tale of teen angst and kickboxing that is Never Back Down while overestimating the drawing power of the apocalypse with Doomsday, which finished seventh for the week with a mere $4.9 million. 10,000 B.C. dropped only as far as second place for its second week, though its total so far of $61.5 million has a ways to go before exceeding the film's $105 million budget. Here are the numbers for last weekend:

1. Horton Hears a Who: $45 million
2. 10,000 B.C.: $16.7 million
3. Never Back Down: $8.6 million
4. College Road Trip: $7.8 million
5. Vantage Point: $5.5 million

If you're determined to see something new this week, you have your choice of laughs, screams, and family drama. Here are this week's newbies:

Drillbit Taylor
What's It All About: A comedy in which a group of high school nerds search the ads in Soldier of Fortune magazine for a body guard to protect them from the school bully. They hire a homeless guy named Drillbit Taylor (it never pays to go with the lowest bidder) played by Owen Wilson.
Why It Might Do Well: Wilson, of course, has many comedic credits to his name, including Wedding Crashers which pulled in $209 million domestically. Also, Seth Rogen seems to have the midas touch and he co-wrote the screenplay.
Why It Might Not Do Well: Based on the TV spots I keep seeing, people who aren't comfortable with nerd on nerd violence may stay away.
Number of Theaters: 2,700
Prediction: $12 million

For the most part, contests are pretty run of the mill. You can win that thing you've been yearning for and are too broke to buy, or too impatient to wait and see if you ever get it as a gift. It could be tickets, gadgets, and other sundry, but sometimes, it's something special... like your own bodyguard.

Yes, I'm serious. As part of the upcoming release of the upcoming film Drillbit Taylor, AOL is sponsoring a contest where you can win your own bodyguard for the day. The kicker -- there's no age cap! You have to be at least 13, have Internet access, and be a legal resident of the US to enter. Kiddies out there can become too-cool-for-school with their own bodyguard, or I guess you can turn your own heads at work with a day's worth of bodyguard detail. (Note: If some lucky kid gets their amazing bodyguard win halted by their jerky school, the winner will receive the cash equivalent of the prize.)

To enter, you just have to head over to http://www.drillbitsarmy.com/ and throw in your info. However, you can gain additional entries by participating in tasks outlined on the website. For each completed task, you'll get one extra entry. These tasks are fairly simple, and include things like watching the trailer or recording a rap. The contest ends March 21, the day Drillbit Taylor hits theaters.

I just caught Night at the Museum on cable the other day, and I still feel the same way about it: It's a fun little flick for kids and, at times, adults, even though the story is a bit iffy (I've always hated the whole "Dad needs to prove he's cool to his son" stuff). When the film hit theaters back in 2006, audiences went nuts for it -- and so a sequel was all but certain. Night at the Museum 2: Escape from the Smithsonian has already lined up Ben Stiller to reprise the lead role, as well as Hank Azaria (who'll play an Egyptian pharaoh) and Amy Adams (who'll play Amelia Earhart, apparently, instead of Reese Witherspoon). Now, in speaking to Azaria, MTV found out that Owen Wilson, Steve Coogan and Ricky Gervais will be back (reprising their roles from the first film, one assumes).

Gervais has been on the fence for awhile now; only a few short months ago, he revealed to us that his character is in the script and he would love to show up in the sequel should his busy schedule allow it. If Azaria is correct, it looks like Gervais has found some spare time after all. On his role, Azaria notes, "I'm the villain in the movie and have all sorts of nasty plans for modern society and poor Ben Stiller gets caught in the middle of it." On his fellow cast members, Azaria says, "Owen [Wilson] is coming back and so is Steve Coogan and Ricky Gervais. And there's other fun folks too who haven't officially signed on yet playing historical figures."

Since they're at the Smithsonian this time around, who do you think those other historical figures will be?

Some have said that The Darjeeling Limited is a movie for Wes Anderson's fans. While that description is fairly accurate, it also suggests that this is some sort of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back project -- a self-indulgent film only for those filled with Anderson adoration. While it does tap into the magic that brings fans to the filmmaker -- the rich colors, quirky characters, and strange introspection -- it is also a study of grief, and a film that perfectly embodies the importance of charisma and chemistry.

As Erik Davis wrote in his NYFF review, it's hard to see Adrien Brody, Jason Schwartzman, and Owen Wilson as brothers, but from the minute they come together on screen, each mannerism and look makes them seem immediately comfortable with each other, as if they are actually related and intimately familiar. It doesn't matter that they all look incredibly different. Brody slips into Anderson's world fluidly, and the three leads play off each other, making the quirk not only palpable, but subtly genuine.

With the writer's strike in full swing, I thought I'd pay tribute to a few of the writers who currently have films in theaters. Quite frankly, you really have to admire some of them. Take Allison Burnett, who adapted Feast of Love (2 screens) as well as this year's earlier Resurrecting the Champ. Burnett received very little love for either movie, but consider how hard it must have been to cut down a novel and expand a newspaper article at the same time? It makes my head spin. It's also quite impressive that Burnett was able to work again after his earlier script was turned into the universally panned film Autumn in New York (2000). But the thing that impressed me most of all about Burnett is his first produced script, Bloodfist III: Forced to Fight (1992), a vehicle for "Z" level action star Don 'The Dragon' Wilson. This is from a guy who studied playwriting and has published a novel. I can only imagine what it must be like to sit down and actually write something like that. Do you tape the paycheck on the wall next to your desk and keep staring at it? Good for Burnett that he made it out of that hole.

Then there's The Simpsons Movie (96 screens), which has at least eleven credited writers, and possibly more who added material without credit. Among them we have David Mirkin, who directed one of my all-time favorite guilty pleasures, Heartbreakers (2001), and James L. Brooks, who won an armload of Oscars for Terms of Endearment (1983). Most of the others are from TV, and I'd like to think they wrote this movie the way they might have written a half-hour episode: by sitting around a big table and throwing out ideas and laughing a lot. Those writer rooms are usually decorated with stuffed animals and novelty items, as well as plates of donuts and other snacks -- perhaps some kind of air freshener as well. It makes me all warm just thinking about it.